The Journey to becoming fully integrated - part 1
Spiritual Gifts Tests - how I started to become fully integrated as a person:
I will be the first one to tell you that I love personality, leadership, and work tests! While these assessments are all great - they give you insights about your behavior that you might not have been aware of. They can help improve your relationships, communication, and how you show up at work.
But they are not the full picture of WHO you are.
I did all of the latest iterations and versions: StrengthsFinder, DISC, 5 Voices, Myers-Briggs, Your Working Genius, Love Languages, etc – but I didn't start to feel fully integrated as a whole person until I took spiritual gifts tests. I always felt like a large part of myself was left out of leadership and personality assessments - because they don’t touch on your spiritual identity at all. And we are spirit beings first.
One of the most powerful ways to discover who you are and what you’re called to – is through knowing your spiritual gifts. Of course, personality tests can reveal some keys about your story, since the Master Storyteller is always weaving different life experiences together to reveal to you aspects of who you are and your purpose – inviting you to discover the greater story being written through your life. But there is more!
Once I did a few different spiritual gifts assessments, they revealed deeper and more significant aspects about who I am, how I operate, and who I was created to be - that personality tests never got close to touching. This was deeply life-giving!
Because when you aren't fully integrated, its actually painful. You always feel like part of yourself is getting left out of the equation and that you can never truly be your full self.
They helped me integrate the spiritual dimensions of myself, that I always intuitively knew were there, operating in the background – but that I didn't know how to name or articulate in any cohesive way.
There is so much power in the act of naming.
Naming makes the intangible and intuitive, things - tangible. Naming brings clarity to what has happened in the past; and intentionality to what you can create in the future.
It's really hard to reverse-engineer a result you can't first name or even recognize. It's almost impossible, to intentionally do something you can not name or put your finger on.
In a time when personality tests have become people's full and entire definition of who they are, I think it's more important than ever, to know and unlock your spiritual gifts.
The first spiritual gifts test I did was with the small group at my church 7 years ago. We sat together to share our top spiritual gifts with each other, so that we could better relate to who each person was, from Heaven’s perspective.
Now, while there is definitely a difference between spiritual gifts and your spiritual identity - (that's a whole other topic for another day!) - spiritual gifts are a solid first stepping stone that opens up a whole new realm to you that you weren't aware of before.
So we were sitting in the living room, and everyone was sharing their top spiritual gifts, the ones that had the highest rankings. Each person was being celebrated as they shared what their gift was, and it was genuinely an uplifting and positive atmosphere. Most people shared that they had 1-3 gifts that were ranked as ‘high’.
As their leader, I also got to see all of their results so I could better steward their hearts well and help them grow in their gifts, which I actually believe is really important if you are Kingdom leader wanting to lead people well, from the Father's perspective. I had no idea that my experience leading people in small groups, would spark a deep desire in me to help Kingdom leaders be able to steward their people well, and develop them through a lens of spiritual growth and inquiring of the Lord, I'll share more about this in another post, but a seed was unknowingly planted here.
As we were going around the circle sharing, getting closer and closer to my turn, an internal rising level of panic was starting to surface about what I should or should not share. I was getting increasingly uncomfortable as I listened to others sharing.
Out of the 15 gifts on the test, 10 of mine were all ‘high; and the remaining 5 gifts were all ‘medium’ in terms of their current level of operation. Everyone else in the room had two or three ‘High’ gifts – but looking at my paper, my assessment results told a different story of how God had gifted me.
So why was this causing such a rising sense of panic?
#1 - I felt like I needed to hide this information so that it didn’t come off like I was bragging, so I just ended up sharing only a couple instead. In hindsight, that might have been wisdom -- and I wouldn't have explained it this way then -- but the truth is I actually made that decision out of fear and shame.
Fear that I might be “too much” for people to handle, or coming off as too much as an overachiever, even though I knew rationally that it wasn’t a competition. It was intended as and exercise to reveal information about ourselves that we were previously unaware of.
What was most enlightening about this exercise was it revealed something significant to me about myself that I had never realized until that moment.
While people had always pointed out from a young age that I was multi-talented and that was nice to hear – deep down I didn't really believe them. It's one thing to hear something from someone; but an entirely different thing to believe it for yourself. I think we can all relate to that.
I just thought I was just like everyone else.
I had always assumed that everyone had all the same gifts I had. They all came so naturally to me, that I just intuitively believed everyone operated in most of them too.
I did not know that this was special and God had wired me in a highly unique way, for a specific purpose. This moment sitting on that couch, looking at my test results was the first time I started to believe in who I was created to be.
This is usually how gifts work–they are so innate to you, that we often miss out on the fact that they are actually *gift*s— meaning they are meant to benefit someone else.
Gifts are not just meant for ourselves. When you have been graced with many gifts, it's actually selfish to keep them to yourself.
This is actually part of the reason I've started to write and share my journey with you. Because I realized what God has given me, is not just meant to be kept to myself and hidden away, when Ive been given gifts that can help people.
When you don't believe that they are true, it just means that life has happened to you and there's probably a lie in there that you are believing about your identity and who you are created to be.
Because we're not designed to do life alone, it often takes an outside observer - a coach, a friend, or a spiritual advisor to point them out to you -- both your natural God-given gifts, and the lies you've been believing that are preventing you from seeing the truth.
We all have unique God-given gifts to impact the world. Since taking a deep dive into all things spiritual gifts and identity over the last few years, I’ve discovered that I am uniquely designed to help other people recognize and unlock the nuances of their gifts and how they are designed to bring their vision to the world.
Secondly- my reaction here, was also a larger pattern in my life of minimizing myself to make others feel more comfortable. Up until that point, I hadn't really believed I had anything special to offer.
Even now, I don't share this to brag -- but to say that oftentimes, we don't step into the true, full brilliance of who we are – who we've been created to be, by the Creator himself -- simply because we fear what others will think.
As a result, we get stuck shrinking and living beneath the full calling of who we really are.
One of my favorite, empowering quotes is from Akeelah and the Bee is–
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves, ‘Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?’
Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There’s nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you.
We are all meant to shine, as children do.
We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.
It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone.
And as we’re liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
--Marianne Williamson
True humility is not denying who God has called you to be; rather it's deciding to fully and unapologetically own every part of WHO he has made you to be, knowing your gifts weren’t given to you just for your own benefit.
As matter of a fact, the most ironic part is your gifts aren't for you at all.
As someone once said, “A gift is not a gift until it's given away.”
Keeping your gifts to yourself is actually selfish. Because they are meant for other people!
What good does it do if you keep them all to yourself, when they are designed to help other people? That's a waste. And I've decided I don't want them to be wasted.
That's the journey I've been on recnetly and why I've decided to start writing my story. To realize
that these gifts God has given me, are not just meant to be kept to myself. They are meant to be shared with others.
My gifts were given to me – for your benefit....not just so I can enjoy "knowing" I have them.
That's why I love the power of spiritual gifts and what they unlock in people as people discover what theirs are. When we know what people’s spiritual gifts are, it causes us to relate to them differently.
You start to relate to them out of who they are called to be, and not just the current version of themselves.
It gives us new eyes to see the people around us in a beter, more kinder light.
If this resonated with you, I'd love for you to share it with a friend you needs to hear this. Feel free to tag me on IG @iman_cooper when you do.
Until next time, Iman